Insomnia
It sounds strange, but I’ve been waiting to write an entry with this title for quite a while now. Some time ago, like one or two years back, I had more trouble sleeping than I do now. I even had quite a few nights during which I couldn’t sleep entirely. But this phase passed, and lately I haven’t had a single night during which I couldn’t sleep entirely. Sure, I still have problems falling asleep once in a while, but lately it always seems to happen eventually.
But not tonight. It’s still pretty early though, only past two in the morning, but I already know it’s not going to happen. In a while I’m gonna try it anyway, but I doubt it’s going to happen. I often know that I won’t be able to sleep before it happens. Maybe it’s reversed psychology: telling myself that I won’t be able to sleep actually makes it happen. But there’s been a few times that I did fall asleep, so I don’t think that goes. When I can’t sleep, it’s almost always because there’s too much chaos in my head. And when I recognize that it’s a bad case of chaos, I just know I won’t be able to sleep. And tonight is such a night. It’s harder to keep my eyes closed than to keep them open.
Now I’m really not going to elaborate about why and what – that’s what my protected section is for. However, the one thing that’s good about this insomnia is that it is making me write. During the past hour I’ve written more than I would have in four days time. Most of it is useless ranting, but still. Things flow. I write better in the evenings, but I guess I write even better when I can’t sleep.
Not being able to sleep is strange. My system isn’t foolproof, even I had times at which the insomnia caught me by surprise. It can happen so suddenly. Once you start twisting and turning, you slowly start to realize it’s not going to happen. There are so many different reasons for not being able to sleep, but luckily mine are almost always the same: thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. I always say that I’ve got a lot on my mind, but I wonder if that’s actually true. I can’t look into other people’s heads, so I can’t judge if what I think is chaos is actually pretty severe or not. All I know it’s too much for me.
Lately when I need to relax I listen to music before going to sleep. And when I feel I’m tired enough I put away my iPod and then I often fall asleep very quickly. But I can’t do that right now, I know it won’t work. Music will only give me more thoughts right now.
And with that, I have nothing more to say. I guess I’m gonna try and close my eyes anyway, because I’ve already written several blogs and emails, but none have helped to clear my mind. Best to try sleeping anyway, just to make sure. And if it doesn’t work, I can always open up a book, watch something or even continue writing.
Some tips to get asleep more easily:
- No reading, writing or watching tv lying in bed. There must be no association between staying awake for these activities and you being in your bed.
- Fixed ritual of bedtime preparation. If possible it should not involve complex or exciting elements, such as engaging tv-series or thrilling books. Of course it is hard not to do anything at all before bedtime, as is often recommended, but you should be able to find some less-then-average exciting activities. Maybe listen to music you cannot understand the lyrics of all too well.
- Get up on time in the morning and do something during the day, in particular something that requires mental effort. Effectively: make sure you are tired at the end of the day. Very important.
- Drink a cup of (Celestial seasonings) Sleepytime tea before going to sleep. I’m not sure how well this works, but a friend of friend of mine used to swear by drinking this tea before bedtime and personally I have good experiences with it as well. I usually take it when I want to go to sleep soon, but still feel a bit excited or not really tired. Also, with the risk of stating the obvious: no coffee before going to sleep.
- Turn off the heater well before you intend to sleep. A colder temperature will slow your activity and make you long for the warmth of your bed.
These tips are of course not foolproof, but they might help you at least a bit in sleepless times. There are always moments that none of the recipes work and then the risk arises that you focus so much on the process of trying to get sleepy/asleep, that this itself keeps you awake. Personally I find that performing enough active mental activity during the day (writing, reading longer texts, programming, basically “working”), really helps the most. HTH.